Why Parents Should Let Teens Study Abroad, According to Girls Who Did

As parents, we spend our kids’ entire childhoods preparing them for independence … but sometimes the best lessons can’t be taught at home. Research consistently shows that studying abroad gives teens a powerful head start. In fact, nearly 97 percent of students who study abroad report increased maturity, and 96 percent say their self-confidence grows as a direct result of the experience. Beyond that, a semester or summer overseas exposes them to new languages, cultures, and ways of thinking: skills that will serve them for a lifetime.

Below, you’ll hear the perspectives of two teen girls who lived these statistics, Gwen and Sophia, in their own words. They make a compelling case for why letting your teen study abroad isn’t just an adventure, but a meaningful step toward adulthood.

Gwen’s Story

Being a 17-year-old girl is infamously hard, as it comes with its own specific and universal challenges. One that I’m sure most people would agree on is the shifting power dynamic between parent and child, especially as the child approaches 18 (and the parent approaches their last straw). While I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily a master in this experience, I do have one piece of advice that stands alone: Let your child try life without you. By the end of it, they will be running back to you with open arms.

For another teen, it could simply be a weekend by themselves; for me, this experience was a semester abroad. Totally up to you, but totally necessary. To help prove my point, I will tell you some things that I learned during my experience in another country — without my family, or technology, or any sort of creature comforts.

How to do my own laundry. I am embarrassed to say that it took me sixteen years to accomplish this feat. I waited until the third week of my semester, until it was absolutely necessary that I figure this out, when I eventually went by myself and figured it out all on my own.

How to live without a cell phone. While this was just a part of my experience specifically, I think that living for three months without seeing a screen may have actually altered my brain chemistry. I learned to live without my consistently-present social security blanket. My friends and I learned how to have conversations without “TikTok breaks” strewn throughout. My life was no longer tethered to refreshing a screen or waiting for a notification. The relationships I made without the presence of technology will be relationships I cherish for my entire life.

How to survive without my parents. This is probably the most important “how to” that I discovered for myself, but it was also the toughest mountain to summit. Living without my parents in the room next to mine, or even a phone call away, was arguably one of the hardest things I have ever done. It also made me realize just how capable I am. I learned that I can do anything I put my mind to. Having time without my parents made me realize just how amazing they are and how I should cherish every single minute that I have with them.

If you want your child to learn how to do any of these things, I highly suggest that you give them some time to try life by themselves. A chance for independence. One I am sure they will want to take. It will be the perfect step for both of you guys as they prepare themselves for the next inevitable break from you … college, and adulthood.

Sophia’s Story

I walked onto the plane, preparing to fly to a foreign country where I would live with strangers for five months, and anxiously bit my nails as I found my seat: heading for a new country, a new family, a new school, new friends, a new identity. Five months later, tears fell as I boarded a new plane and said goodbye to my best friends, unsure of when I would see them again. Still, I felt a strange sense of calm as I found my bags. I’d created a life for myself, a life that belonged to me. It is impossible to teach a teen independence. I had to learn it and figure it out myself.

As a 17-year-old, I decided to study abroad in France for 5 months. I lived with a French family, attending a school in France where most of the classes were in French. Other than sheer curiosity, I had no reason to leave my family in America; they’re my rock, a vital part of my life. It was a difficult decision to leave them, but I have no regrets about it now. When deciding to study abroad, I was not running from my home, but running toward something. I was hoping to discover more of the world and find my independence — and in doing so, make a life that was fully my own.

Before I left for France, I wasn’t totally sure if I could be independent. I doubted myself, which led to more than a few freakouts of calling my mom, wondering why I would ever leave in the first place. No question it was hard for my mom to watch. However, functioning without them, no matter how tough it was for all of us, was a necessary step toward finding my own independence. I had to go through that in order to understand that yes, being alone is difficult. Much more difficult than I had imagined. I was not comfortable in a new environment where I struggled to shop for groceries because I didn’t know the word for “butter” in French. My parents weren’t there for me when I had had a hard day and just wanted to lie in bed watching a movie with them. 

In spite of the struggles I faced, studying abroad was the best decision that my parents have ever let me make. I was able to find my own routine, create new bonds, and build a new identity. I figured out how to express myself in a new language, whether I was asking someone to hand me some water or even tell a joke. I learned to understand the ways of French culture all by myself, realizing that I had to greet all store owners when walking into a shop, what shoes were popular, and what slang words French kids my age used. Seeing how far I had come since my first day in France, I was even more proud of every little milestone that I achieved, knowing that I did it all by myself.

It was a life-changing experience for all of us. Having seen me thrive in a foreign country, my parents are much less worried about sending me to college. Having been away from my family for five months, I view them in a different light. I am infinitely more grateful for how they have unwaveringly supported me over the years. What’s better, I have a whole new sense of confidence. I feel incredibly capable of making my own decisions and being on my own. This independence gave my parents a new sense of confidence in me, and they are so proud of how far I have come.

… But even though I am much more independent, there’s no question I’ll still be calling my parents a ton when I’m at college.